And the radiation fun begins...

So, yesterday as planned, I went in for my radiation appointment to set-up to all of my treatments. Aside from the fact that I had some difficulty figuring out how to tie the robe they gave me to use (it was this way weird wrap around thing) the appointment went really smoothly. Basically all they did was hook me up for a Cat Scan and marked, with permanent marker, a starting point for aligning my radiation treatments. They have to make sure the radiation goes to the exact same place every time, eventually the marker will be replaced with small, freckle sized, tattoos.
I walked out of the cancer center totally stoked. I had all of my 20 appointments scheduled and I had gotten the rocking time of 7 am so I would still be able to work 2 jobs this summer like I had been planning. Radiation appeared, then, to be a million times easier then chemo and I was excited that while it was going to be a minor inconvenience going in every morning, as I really am not a morning person and 7 is pretty dang early, I would be able to sail through it and be done in no time. Well, a few hours after being from home I was sitting at my computer looking for that second job my phone started to ring. It was the cancer center. Wondering why on earth they would be calling me, I picked up on the phone. They informed me that my radiologist decided to go a different direction. My treatments were now going to be more complicated and I had to come back in and get rescanned and marked for my treatments and all of my appointments they had just scheduled were canceled. I was crushed. I didn't want anything more complicated. I just wanted to be done.
Luckily, my dad was able to go with me to my appointment this morning. We got there with a ton of questions as we really didn't know what this complicated procedure was or what its effect was going to be on me. I have never been good at digesting what doctors say to me. My dad is much better at that so the nurse was able to explain to him what exactly they were going to do. The procedure is called IMRT. It is the newest technology in radiation (from what I understand) and is also referred to as image guided radiation. What they do is take scans of you and with the help of the computer only target the tumors instead of a general area, as they were going to do before, so it helps avoid any of your body's other organs. Because of that, it really is the better way to go, but there is a catch. I can't move at ALL when they are treating me so I am required to use a face mask to ensure that I don't go anywhere. That is why I had to go back today, to make the mask and get scanned and marked while I was wearing it.
So, they had me go into the room and lie down on the scanner's bed thing as I had done the day before while they explained how the mask mold was going to work. It is this really hard plastic that they run under hot water to make it pliable. Then while its still hot they quickly mold it to your face and wait for to re-harden. Once it was hard then they would run me through the scanner and use the laser to remark you. The task seemed fairly simple, but somewhere in the middle of the scan I realized what exactly was happening to me. I was strapped to the table,I couldn't see or hear anything, and there was no escape. I lost it! I began to totally freak out. I wanted out so bad I was in tears, but at the same time the more rational part of me knew everything was going to be fine and I just needed to stay still for a few more minutes so they could finish the scan and I could go home. I was having trouble deciding which part of me to listen to and the technicians started to notice that I was becoming really uncomfortable. They tried their best to keep me calm during the rest of scan and quickly came to get me out of the mask when it was finally over. Relief instantly washed over me when they took the mask off. I could breathe again. I had no idea that I was that claustrophobic. I thought I was done and could go home, but once again I was wrong. The pictures had gone blurry. I had moved too much. We had to start the scan all over again. The second time I was able to keep myself calm, but I still hated every second of it and this was just my first time having to do it. I still had another 20 appointments to go through. Then, to add the icing to the cake, they told me that they had to push my starting date back a full week and the earliest they could do my appointments was 10 am and because this procedure was more complicated it would be a 15 to 20 min procedure instead of a 5 to 10 minute procedure. While I was happy I didn't have to get there so early in the morning it also meant that the earliest I could be to work was noon maybe 11:30 at best and getting a second job was going to be 10 times more difficult. :(
That is a lot to swallow, but I know they are only doing what is best for me and in the long run I will be really grateful for that. I also know that in time being in the mask won't freak me out as much and I will be able to handle things better....I look forward to that. I have to believe, as it was with chemo, that although things look grim at the moment, once I get going I will realize that it isn't as miserable as I thought it was going to be and that I am strong enough to make it through. :)
Anyways, my first treatment will be on the 17th. I will let you know how everything goes.

Kenna